Bonsoir pouvez-vous m’aider s’il vous plaît IL FAUT AMÉLIORER LA PHRASE POUR LA RENDRE PLUS INTÉRESSANT

Yesterday Liam John and Thomas went shopping at the mall, they were hungry, so they bought ice cream, while eating, they were looking around, when suddenly the fire alarm went off and screams were heard, they were scared they let their ice cream fall to the ground, there was smoke everywhere, then they fled to their house